Are you planning a divorce party? Should you?

There's a new trend in Orange County and around the country -- divorce parties. You may have attended some. If you are newly divorced, should you consider throwing your own?

There are a couple of schools of thought on that topic. One argues that it's of questionable taste and judgment to celebrate anything to do with a broken marriage. Certainly any parents of children should consider how their actions could affect the children's perception of the marriage and divorce.

However, some will counter that it honors a marriage -- even a broken one -- to mark its passage with a ceremonial ritual and gathering, just as was done for the marriage.

It's not as bizarre as it may seem, especially when the spouses part as friends. Throwing a joint divorce party can bring both former spouses the closure they need to move on. It also provides a venue for family and friends to acknowledge and embrace their separate relationships with each spouse. That might preclude certain friends feeling as if they needed to "take sides" in the split.

Even if there is no public celebration of the event, the former partners might find it fitting to have their own private acknowledgement. It could be something as simple as a drink or a final getaway together.

Of course, joint divorce parties aren't for everybody. Some newly-single men and women might prefer to hold separate blow-outs. It doesn't have to be elaborate. A weekend camping trip to the mountains might blow the chill off a man's heart. Ladies could plan a spa weekend for their best girlfriends to cry and laugh it out.

Regardless of whether you have a party or not, there doesn't have to be acrimony in your divorce. Consider working some of the issues out in mediation. Failing that, you may need to take further steps to reach an accord in a particularly thorny divorce.

Source: Psychology Today, "Should You Throw a Divorce Party?," Wendy Paris, accessed June 15, 2018

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