As family law attorneys, we have certainly seen some down and dirty custody battles emerge. But we always caution our clients to avoid rolling around in the mud with their exes over the divorce. These attempts to smear your ex can often wind up getting you just as dirty.
But there are other reasons, too, for rising above your marital issues and taking the high road in your divorce. The No. 1 reason is that particularly acrimonious divorces are much harder on the children.
Kids internalize many things, and when their parents split up, it’s quite common for them to believe that the split was their fault. This can create all sorts of problems for the children. They don’t know how to handle their feelings of guilt, anger and betrayal, so they may lash out in anger at school and wind up in trouble. Others may stop speaking entirely and retreat into inner worlds where there is less conflict.
Meanwhile, the parents are too busy trying to trip up their exes to see the damage that has already been done to their kids by the divorce and its consequences.
We encourage our clients to co-parent compatibly with their child’s other parent. This allows the children to still see their parents as a united front instead of separate units that can be further pitted against each other and manipulated by the kids.
Are you an Orange County parent who is struggling with custody issues in your divorce? We may be able to help you sort out the matter and reach a workable solution. Contact us to learn more.